Thoughts

Today in Relief Society we had a lesson which really hit home for me. It was a little about how the world and it's view on marriage and family are shifting. This has actually been on my mind but not so up front and bam! I have been thinking back to being a kid and what did I look forward to on Fridays? Remember the old anagram TGIF? All those fun shows geared towards the family staying home and watching some fun entertainment! Well TGIF is not something my kids look forwards to, so why is that? Well most of my generation that watched these shows, Full House, Family Matters, and others do not have children yet. We as a society have felt that careers and life style should come before starting that family. Also the number of children that we consider to be enough has gone down. I grew up with one older brother and one younger sister. In "Mormon" terms this is not a large family. Now having one child seems like enough. And waiting until careers are in place before we think about marriage is the norm. I remember my dad stressing college then marriage. Well I didn't go that route, and I am glad I didn't. I was barely 21 when Brian and I wed and only 23 when I had Teagan. I am grateful that I started my family young and I wish that family would become the center again. That's what I always wanted to be was a mother. I didn't want to wait! We did celebrate two years of marriage before Teagan was born though and I am happy that we spent two years getting to know each other. Now as I am expecting #4 I am sure outsiders think she had two boys and one girl that is plenty. But to me, who always dreamed of being a mom it's not. I would have guilt and regret if I was just done, now I am not planning of starting some TV shows The Gibson's 4 and Counting, haha but to me the family is the most important thing! The reason why I am here in the first place. I chose to agree to the Plan of Salvation and come to Earth. I wanted to be a mother and rear my children towards God. Now I am still learning! Not perfect at all but I am trying and I am thankful to have my beliefs. I want others to look at me and know I CHOSE to be a mother! I CHOSE to have my children. So far they have all been planned!!! And I can honestly say that I don't think #4 is my done number. Now Brian will probably disagree here but the plan had not been to wait so long to have more children. But I could not and would not bring another baby into the place we lived prior. Life was at a standstill at that place with no progress and we were all so already cramped and stressed. So baby #4 has been waiting. I always say you can't wait until the perfect timing so I guess I didn't heed my own advice but life was not great. So I jumped now. Are we financially stable? Nope! But I know we are going to welcome #4 and all will be okay. For me life is not about the wealth at the end of life but what we do during this time on Earth. I wanted to be a mother and so that's what I am doing.