It's been 5 years and I still miss you

So today is February 16th and it's President's Day. Five years ago today my Father died. It was totally sudden and not expected. He died while working out in the early morning. It does not seem real even today. I feel that he is just gone somewhere never to return. I still have a really hard time about it. Teagan was going to be his first grandchild and was three months from being born. I think that is the one of the hardest things to think about. He was so excited about becoming a grandpa. My dad was the one with all the answers to my questions. I have so many and no one to ask them too. It is really hard. I miss him so much. My sister and I were talking about this today, you know when your parents start to see you as a person instead of always being just a child, where you have a totally different relationship with them then when you were a kid. That is how it was and it had just started. I had just turned 23 exactly the week before. I am not big on the month of February anymore, I actually hate it now. Anyways, so many wonderful things happened right before he passed and when thinking about it, it is amazing. Brian had made the decision to become a member of the church and my dad baptized him on January 3, 2004. Also my dad's sister came out from FL for a family visit. They have 6 children, so it was not often that the entire family came out. We had such a fun time with all the family together. My dad even sang karaoke at our house, which we had been begging for years for that to happen. There were so many things that we did out of the ordinary when they were here and it was so special. I was also lucky enough to work with my dad for almost 3 years at Eagle's Aerie. I got to see him every day at work, and it was so much fun, I really loved seeing him. Of course like any child there were times that I didn't like my dad because he was doing what was best for me. I understood why at the time, and I appreciate all that he did for me. He was such a great man. I swear at his viewing, the lines were out the door and wrapped around the building. So many people came, I was dumb and stood like the entire time. The funeral was at our family Ward building but we should have done it at the Stake Center, it was so packed. Again so many people came out to pay their respect. I know my dad touched many and even though he was only 52 when he passed he had had a great and fulfiling life. I was daddy's helper, and wanted to be with him always. Now I just have to wait and I will have the chance again one day. Dad I miss you tons and love you always!!

We had just gotten our first digital camera right before he died so I don't have too many pictures of him, actually just Brian's baptism. The rest of his pictures are in storage, but I found a few.

Family trip to the Grand Canyon in 1985. I know nice glasses this family sports!

At Eagle's Aerie School hike I think in 2001/2002 school year.My dad squeezing through.Dad baptizing Brian.

Going in for the dunk.

This was before we started.

So today on the 5th anniversary, we went up to Tortilla Flats and spread my dad's ashes. It was really hard. So he is up there in nature where he loved to be most, especially when we were all with him. The wind was not exactly perfect, I brought home a little dad on my clothes but that's okay. Here are a few pictures. I wish the FL family could have been here, that would have been great, but oh well.

My cousin Jen and Me, my sister Candy, Teagan, Rayle and my brother Chad.

Walking up the trail.

Teagan on top of the rock.Cute pic of Brian and Rayle.

Teagan and cousin JenRayle eating, yum!Saying some last few words.Candy and Gail embracing.Gail letting my dad go.The wind picked up and there he goes.

The canyon where my dad now flies.